Soften the cream cheese: Let the cream cheese sit at room temperature for about 30 minutes, then beat it in a large bowl until smooth and lump-free.
Mix in cheese and seasoning: Stir the shredded cheddar, ranch seasoning, minced garlic, and the soy sauce mixture into the cream cheese until fully combined.
Fold in bacon bits: Add the crumbled turkey bacon bits and mix just until they're spread evenly through the cheese mixture.
Chill the mixture: Cover the bowl and refrigerate for about 1 hour, until the mixture is firm enough to hold its shape when scooped.
Shape small eyeballs: Scoop out tablespoon-sized portions and roll each one between your palms into a smooth, 1-inch ball.
Coat the balls: Roll each ball in the crushed crackers or chopped pecans until lightly coated on all sides.
Add the olive eye: Press one olive half, cut side out, into the center of each ball to create the iris and pupil.
Paint on veins: Dip a toothpick in red food coloring gel and draw thin lines radiating outward from each olive to mimic blood vessels.
Chill again before serving: Refrigerate the finished eyeballs for another 15 minutes so the coating sets, then arrange on a platter with tortilla chips.
